Day 49

Day 49 today. If someone had told me on Day 1 we would still be on this journey 7 weeks later, I would have shaken my head in disbelief + dismissed their doom + gloom. However, here we are and Erica is still not.

But we’ve arrived here one day at a time, one step after another by faith, believing He is with us, still leading.
No remarkable miracles along the way, but somehow the fact we are here, still walking, still believing, is a miracle in itself.
The saying goes, ‘There but for the grace of God go I.’ Now I can rephrase this: ‘There by the grace of God I go.’
We’re ‘there’. Together. You + us; we’re still here. Thank You for your company!
There, where we never thought we’d have to, where we never thought we could have, should have or ever once thought even possible. That’s where we have now come. This is a Grand Canyon depth, an Everest height, like I’d never imagined possible. Indeed, without God this is impossible. I don’t know how people go through crises without God in their lives. I’m not talking about having a religious crutch to lean on. Rather, this journey has made me draw on a whole new pair of legs. Mine are still wobbly and,  like Jacob I limp, but my walk is forever changed! 
At times I’ve felt abandoned, like the ‘Footprints’ author.  I then need to trust He is carrying me.
Other times I’ve pleaded for Him to just give us at least a hint, some clue, any  indication of Erica’s whereabouts.
I’ve quoted Scriptures: ‘Ask anything in my Name + I will do it,’ (Jn 16:23)  
‘Whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them and you will have them.’ (Mk 11:24)
Even my Father’s Heart faith-favourite: ‘Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened.’ (Matt 7:7)
I’ve punched in what preachers tell me is God’s phone number: Jeremiah 3:3 ‘Call on me + I will answer.’
But the silence has seemed deafening.
I’ve stood at our living room window, looked out into the darkness, believed for her to reappear, and conjured up  faith I can  in my heart to see her walk up the driveway. But I still stand there alone, waiting. 49 days is a long time. Sometimes I simply don’t know what to do and waiting becomes not only enduring 1 day more, but merely the next hour or minute.
Time is now a passing catalyst. Eternity seems turned upside down and inside out at the same time: my perspective is no longer the same.
Trust is my only peace: a simple trust that Erica is with Jesus and He is true to His Word. He has never left nor forsaken her, nor ever will. I must believe He is a loving God of His Word; that is my sole authority.
It’s Friday, but Sunday’s coming! Our faith rests on this indisputable fact: Jesus rose from the dead!  
And Erica will too one day + so will all who put their faith in Jesus!
And how much more I must believe + receive His resurrection power to live and keep walking today!
I’ve been  like those 2 disciples on their Luke 24 Journey to Emmaus. I know He is with us; I just don’t see Jesus or Erica yet. I can identify with them:  sad, confused, depressed, unaware this was the resurrected Jesus walking with them, opening up the prophetic Scriptures, causing their hearts to burn within.
As I shared previously, Revelation 12 has burned within me: the woman = Erica carried figuratively on the wings of an eagle to a place where she is taken care of. Whether her place is heaven or earth, I don’t know; but as long as there’s no decisive proof Erica is no longer with us here on earth, I must believe her story’s unfinished and so continue.  
But also like those disciples, ‘it is toward evening, the day is far spent.’ We’re tired and need to stop for rest.
Jesus indicated He would go farther; and again like them, my whole body, soul and spirit constrain Him to stay.
He did and at the table, He took the bread, blessed, broke and gave it to them.
‘Then their eyes were opened…’
   just like Job’s when he no longer only heard about God, but now saw Him!
    as Jesus who only did what He saw the Father do.
‘And they knew Him.’ Oh, how I want to know Him, His ways, not just His Hand, but His face in new revelation!
And so He leads + I will follow Him into Day-Step 50:
The breadth of Noah’s ark that saved humanity was 50 cubits (Gen 6:15). God’s love and mercy is much wider.  
Jubilee marked the Jewish calendar’s cycle of 50 years to right injustices and ‘proclaim liberty throughout all the land: each one shall return to his possession and each of you shall return to his family.’ (Lev 25:10)
I claim this for Erica in both spiritual + physical reality.
50 days also followed The Feasts of First Fruits till the fullness of the Feast of Weeks and Harvest.  
In the New Covenant, this parallels the 50 days from Christ’s Resurrection till Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit poured out all His fullness + power in every believer’s heart, witnessing that Jesus not only rose from the dead, but is now seated on the throne of the universe: ruling, reigning, filling earth with His kingdom revelation.
Joy and celebration mark the 50^th step in Israel’s journey and it’s time for justice and restoration!
When God’s time is full, Erica will be revealed to us. Her revealing is through Christ’s and that’s our journey.

 I so yearn to see both Him + her. This Sunday evening @630, our family will gather in our home to worship and celebrate Communion together. We are believing Jesus will show up! and so we invite you to also join us as we take this 50^th step in Jubilee and beyond.