An Unexpected Journey

It's Day 5 + I just want to say Thank You to all of you who love Erica + have demonstrated such a massive outpouring of support: praying, writing us notes of encouragement, Mark for setting up this page and our communications centre, others who have coordinated printing and distributing flyers, those bringing food + just being such loving family + friends to us.
A special Thank you to the Abbotsford police department and Search + Rescue + all your efforts in searching out the mountain areas in the east side of our city. We so appreciate your every effort!
It has been wonderful to see how God has raised up both a spiritual + natural army to cover this entire area. Erica's heart has always been to see a united body of intercessors rise up in this city and beyond, and here it happening, although I don't think she ever thought it would happen this way.
I cannot but think that as God is doing this, so it will not be in vain. We are encouraged + hope to have good news that Erica is safe + sound soon!



There are moments in life when you just have to give God control and surrender everything to Him. This is such a moment. I didn't think it would be day 7 with my mom missing, but I have learned the key word "trust." My heart rests securely in Him. He knows exactly where my mom is. He is watching over her, and He is even at work through this situation. My mom has prayed countless hours for unity between churches in Abbotsford and we are seeing churches work together like never before to find her! She has prayed for young people and skateboarders, and now they are praying for her. Mom, you are loved and valued by your family, friends and all of the church in Abbotsford and even around the world. Papa God, send her home at the perfect time. We are waiting and our eyes are on You! Amy Schmidt

Day 7 + we're still seeking Erica. We've come through 7 days now: 7 is God's number of perfection, quality fullness of time + substance, + I'm believing that this is the fullness of time for her to return. I have received many words: one call from Africa cut simply to the core: "I've been listening to Father God + He says, 'Erica is in His good care + will be home soon,' And that's the Word of the Lord!"
The time is longer than I had ever imagined possible + I cry out for the necessary endurance. But I seek, like David, to encourage my heart in the Lord, and she will be restored.
7 is also the number of God's rest: He rested on the 7th day + Hebrews 4 calls us into this rest in Christ's finished work. As His sons + daughters we have rest: a peace + joy unshakeable. A few weeks ago, Erica + I opened a ministry website entitled Emmausjourneys. Little did we know how quickly this journey would encounter such confusion like those disciples: hearing conflicting reports, but unable to connect all the dots + see the Big Picture. But also like them, my heart burns within me as Jesus intimately walks us through this valley, drawing us into fuller revelation of Himself and His love. Last evening, as we passed out flyers with Erica's picture to Reba concert-goers, He led me into this rest: The Prince of Peace is with us, walking us through His destiny, His Will in His Time, bringing His Erica home.
Thank you for all your love and support, prayers and deeds. They are not in vain.

One of Henry's mentors, Herb Klassen, sent him the passage of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. After Jesus heard the news that Lazarus was sick, he waited two days before doing anything. In that time Lazarus dies. This does not sound like the Jesus we know, that he would sit around before acting on a serious life threating problem and then wait too long so that his friend died. How can this be????

But here is what he said: "This sickness will not end in death."

No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Of course he used the situation to raise Lazarus from the dead.

This was an encouragement to Henry and a deepening of the intimacy he has with his loving father.

 

On day 8 of the search for my mom Jesus' words from Matthew 11 seem especially fitting:
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
I am indeed weary and weighed down and greatly in need of rest for my soul. And so I am thankful that Jesus does not abandon me in my time of need, but instead, like the good friend and father that he is, He offers me exactly what I need.

Michael Schmidt

 

 

It's very hard to acknowledge that we're about to begin another week and Erica still isn't back home with Henry and her family. Though each of us continue to hold on to hope, and continue to pray, and continue to do what ever we can to bring her safely home, I can only imagine how difficult it is for Henry to begin another week without Erica home, and for their children to not have their mom home - especially as we enter a weekend that many of us call Thanksgiving.

I've been staying with Henry these past few days and I want to confirm, what I'm sure you already know, that Henry and his family continue live what they have preached all these years – that they have placed their trust in the Lord, and in spite of the pain and all the questions, they know they have a Heavenly Father who loves them.

As we enter another week, I want to thank everyone of you for what you have done so far – for praying, for sharing, for searching, for feeding, for organizing, for calling, and for secretly and selflessly doing what you've been able to do to help in this effort - and for sending a clear message to Henry and his family that you love and care for them. Though it may be more difficult as each day passes, please continue to do what you can to support and care for Henry, the Schmidt family, Mark and the search effort, and each person that has worked so hard to bring Erica home.

As we're approaching the time of the week where many of us consider how we can give to the Lord, and help others financially, please consider assisting Henry and his family and the continued search efforts. We are working toward setting up a “Trust Fund”, but this taking longer than anticipated and may not be in place until late next week. In the mean time please consider making a donation by using the PayPal link provided. This is another practical way to show you love and support for Henry and his family. This group has over 1,100 members so far ... imagine if each of us gave even a small gift. Thank you to those of you who have already helped in this way. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Support-Henry-Schmidt-Family-The-Search-For-Erica/1389938314574890

Though the days ahead may be uncertain, as Henry would say, “we know the end of the story (HIS-story)”. The Lord bless each of you as you continue to walk with Him today.

Glen Mueller

 

Day 9 today: the sun has risen + it was difficult to get out of bed today, but a friend is staying with me + together we 'walked this mountain' one step after another.
I want to thank you all for your support, love + prayers throughout this journey: sometimes highly expectant but so far deeply disappointing. Much good has already been revealed, but I have yet to see its primary objective realized: Erica restored!
Last evening many gathered at The River to pray for Erica: we have asked the Lord for the right piece: that one connector of these mysterious dots to bring revelation of where she is. We're through 8 = # of Resurrection + moved into 9 = # of the Holy Spirit: His gifts + fruit. We're asking for a word of knowledge + wisdom + His faith + endurance to take the next step. The Lord is working, He has not stopped and neither will we. Together He has raised up an army + saturated this city and beyond with her story, picture and our quest to find her safe, sound + soon.
One police office said he has not seen this kind of overwhelming response in 24 years of service. We will not quit, but we need to wait on the Lord for His next step, see what Father is doing and, as Jesus, do only that.
About 3 weeks before this began, the Lord gave me the word, 'Enduring'.
I had little idea what this meant, but I now realize it is strength for one more day than what I thought I could walk yesterday. We shall endure by His grace;
'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.'
There is no evidence that Erica is no longer on this earth; in fact, every word conveyed to us + my heart tell us there is continued hope for her safe return + so I will continue/persevere/endure this race to believe + press ahead to the finish line. Thank you for running this marathon with me + our family. We could not do it without you. With his wings, we can only mount up. We cannot fail!

It's Thanksgiving!

 

 

 

 

Perspective from the Throne

It’s amazing what perspective will do for you!

It can take what seems BIG and make it really quite small!

Or little details can grow into great distractions!                                                                                                                

Take for example our last road-trip down through the Pacific Coast States.

Everything was going great; I had no sooner preached 'The River of Joy' in The River of Joy Church on Saturday evening, when we got tested on it Sunday morning.

I missed the turnoff from I-80 north to Oroville coming out of Sacramento and while trying to navigate back onto the freeway, I felt the gear shift lurch and the motor rev.

I first thought my wearing sandals caused the momentary blip, but then it happened again…

 and a short while later again and then I knew we dealing with something more… 

 possible transmission problems?                  

Soon our trusty Honda Civic lost speed, engine power wasn’t transmitting to forward thrust and we  limped barely along the freeway. I felt my heart sink and a sense of numbness start to move like mist through my entire body. Somehow I knew this was the end of an up-to-then problem-free rest and ministry break.

And I also understood I was neither ready nor prepared to deal with this wrench in our journey.                                                                                                                                                          

As we slowed to a crawl, I remembered driving by others stalled beside the road near the beginning of our trip and thinking, ‘Thank you, Lord, that’s not us!’ In fact, that has never been us … in all our trips: all across Canada and then all the way back again; holidays to Yellowstone, the Utah parks and the Grand Canyon. Sure, we once barely crossed the border back into Canada with a blown head gasket, but never had we been stranded beside the road. This first now appeared to be a distinct possibility. And… there we were, pulled off at East Nicolaus, soon to ever symbolize the end of the middle of nowhere for us. The freeway sign depicted food, but no gas station or vehicle repair shop. And Sammie’s, the Mexican restaurant was closed while the only other building in town was a fire station. We didn’t have a fire, but it was closed anyway! Quite apparently, this part of California closed down tight for its Sunday sabbath. We’re believers also, but these people were practising their faith at a very inconvenient time for us!                                         

Our Honda ceased all forward motion. We pushed and rolled it under a lonely tree’s shade so the increasing heat wouldn’t add more to all the sudden intensity.

I looked at my wife with despair and bewilderment! 

I sighed heavily and finally forced out, ‘I don’t know what to do!’  

I’m sure that didn’t give her a lot of reassurance. Questions raced through my mind, from the proverbial ‘What did we do wrong?’ to the existential ‘Why us?’ ‘Why now?’ After all, we’d been on our way to church in Oroville. Sure,  I’d been racing to get there, slowing down only to escape  four Highway Patrol speed traps, but why did those cops have to be out on Sunday mornings anyways, trying to catch innocent Christians speeding to their houses of worship?                              

But no answers came. Both God and the car went silent and we sat there wondering, ‘What now?’    I hoped it was nothing serious, but in my heart I intuitively knew this marked the end of our problemless road-trip. Some mysterious destiny was about to unravel here, but I was quite unsure as to how willing I was to accept it. Of course we prayed against and bound up the devil’s attack, but somehow I knew God was at the centre of it.                                                                          Yes, He could even use the enemy’s evil machinations to work an ever greater good, but I wasn’t seeing that right then.  All I saw was a broken-down car, an interrupted plan and a possibly very high bill! Transmissions don’t come cheap! Especially in the middle of nowhere!  

No plan sprang to mind; no phone reception either. I had neglected to charge my cell overnight anyways, but that didn’t matter anyways; even the helpful Highway Patrolman's cell phone  got no reception out there!

Condemnation started crawling all over me…

’It’s your fault this happened! 

 Remember that guy who changed your oil asked if you wanted to flush the transmission fluid?

  ‘It’s real dark + smells burnt,’ he’d said.

 But you said, ‘No, my mechanic’s changed it!’

 I hadn’t believed him. I’d distrusted his ‘opinion’ as a merely money-grabbing opportunity.

But now his opinion had obviously become truth! I began to agree with my accuser and my heart sank even further.

Somehow we and our car got towed out of the middle of nowhere and ended up literally at The Father's House, a cool and friendly place to stay in the middle of this Californian furnace.           

That day passed and the next went from bad to worse. The transmission problem was verified and the diagnosis grew decidedly more serious as the possible estimate climbed to $3500.

Should I just abandon the car here in the States? junk it for $700 to the tranny-guy’s mechanic, cut our losses  and just get the quickest, cheapest  tickets back home? 

Besides, we needed to get back the next day to greet our Japanese home-stay student with Christian hospitality + smiles, (mustn’t forget to always put on my authentic everyday smile for the unbelievers!) and even teach my New Covenant Realities class how we are  more than conquerors through Christ! How does that go again? Joy always triumphs through trials. Yeah, right!  It’s a lot easier to mouth the words than walk the message. That truth seemed far away today.         

But isn’t it also true that more mature born-again Spirit-filled Christians should be beyond such major fleshly testings by now?

After all, my 38 years of walking with God have progressed me beyond that, right?                     

I guess not.                                                                                                 

The test was indeed very real and I didn't fare very well.

Fear dug its caves deeper; complaint raised its ugly accusations and an orphan mentality resurfaced as I felt again the intensity of a bad RAP – Rejection, Anger + Pain.

After all this time, were they still unvanquished? How long must I continue to war against these enemies? Are their sudden onslaughts yet so powerful they can so simply overwhelm me?        

Then the revelation came to me: What’s the Lord’s perspective on this? 

How does He see me and my circumstances now?  

Is He as upset as I am?

Is His eternal plan disrupted by this temporary highway breakdown?                                     

How do their imagined costs measure up against His abundant cattle on 1000 hills? or even my own past experience?                                                                                                                                        

And then I had a revelation on perspective:

One night only a few years ago, I sat at my wife’s bedside as she lay comatose, her life hanging in an unknown balance. The doctors had not given a good report. Even if she survived the night, it was highly likely that severe brain damage would leave her in a vegetative state of existence.               

I cried out to God.  Many of you cried out with me.

He heard our prayers + spoke the words of Job 23:10 into my heart.  No, not the verse’s well-known ending, but its less familiar beginning:

‘But He knows the way that I take.’

Somehow these words rose in my spirit and I recognized that the One who is The Way was present and at work. The night passed with little sleep, but I had a simple comforting assurance that more than just morning would dawn the next day.

And true enough, when we entered her room the next day, she was both awake and aware.

Although she couldn’t talk with all those breathing tubes in her mouth, her eyes flashed with life!She made signs for a pencil and wrote:                                                 

‘Who found me?’                                                                      

 ‘I’m hungry!’                                                              

 ‘I guess God’s not finished with me here yet!’                                                   

And from that moment, all the enemy’s plans against us were completely defeated.                                     

So… if He cares for the sparrows + lilies?

and since He has indeed raised His Son from the grave, conquered death and restored my wife!

then can’t He also take care of the mundane, temporal and comparably minute problems of cars, transmissions + bills!?                                                                                                                      

God’s perspective exposes trials in His true light and context: they are not as all-consuming as they seem in their centre-stage moments. In light of all God is + does, these are mere distractions along the sidelines that seek to take our attention off the main player + events of life: Jesus is Risen! 

They expose our tendency to major on minors and magnify the minute, but when we yield to Christ in their midst, our trust in God allows the Holy Spirit to reveal more clearly what is truly important.

Our walk sometimes seems like the road to Emmaus: we have bits of info, but aren't connecting them rightly. We should be rejoicing at the greatest news in history, but we feel DIScouraged, DISqualified, DIStressed, DIStracted, DISapproved, the vision has DISappeared + we are DISappointed.                                                                                                             

But don't let the enemy 'DIS' you.                                                                     

Let the Blood + Love of Jesus wash the 'DIS's off + Be Encouraged!

You are not dis-qualified, but qualified for God to use you to His greater glory!

You are not dis-tracted, but let Jesus take His place as the Main Attraction in your life!

Let His faith + love remove the ‘dis’ from your dis-appointment so you don't miss His Appointment!

After ten days in this fiery furnace, I finally returned home; our fixed car followed later, and the Lord met all our needs: He not only provided enough to pay those looming transmission bills, but more than enough, above and beyond our needs, to fund successive mission trips to Africa, India and Nepal later in the year.

Jesus knows the end from the beginning. In fact, He is the Beginning + the End + Everything in Between: the Way, the Truth and the Life. From His perspective, tests + trials are simply His means of moving us from our last glory to His next glory, trusting + following Him through the transmission-transition-tribulation-transformation process, birthing new life! 

His view from the throne is so much clearer and better than from a broken roadside or hospital bed.

‘I’ve given up the pursuit of knowledge and I’ve found the love of our Lord Jesus Christ!’

39 years ago Labour Day also fell on September 2. It dawned sunny + bright in the Kootenays; still hot like summer, but a hint of autumn was already in the air. It was harvest-weather and God was also working -- overtime!

Early that afternoon I drove out to Harmony Gates, a commune in the Slocan where my friend Grizzle lived, and found her in the garden, pulling up brussel sprouts. I'd attended a Divine Light Mission (DLM) ashram meeting the evening before and I needed to know more about this ‘knowledge’ that the Guru Maharji, the purported 'perfect master' was offering to whomever he chose to give it. I hoped that perhaps this was that illusory first brick I'd been searching for in my quest for a foundation of my tower of truth.

She hesitated at first, but I pressed her and finally she relented and told me her story:

A couple years before, in California, one of her friends had wanted to become an initiate with the DLM – a ‘premie’, but not wanting to go alone, had asked her to come her, and so she'd gone.
In a morning session, one of the mahatmas presented DLM’s basic teachings and gave out free admission tickets to a further evening initiation session. However, there were only a limited number and he arbitrarily gave to some while overlooking others. At one point, he looked at Grizzle and asked her who she was and why she was there. She told him she was a born-again Christian and was only accompanying her friend. He then actually reached over other outstretched hands pleading for the few remaining tickets and handed the last two to Grizzle and her friend.
When those with tickets returned in the evening, the same mahatma asked if anyone had questions.
Grizzle spoke up: ‘What will happen to me when I die?’
She kind of apologized for his response as she recounted her story. ‘I don’t know what everybody else saw or heard,' she said, 'but he cupped his hand over the side of his face, looked right at me, gave a twisted smile and laughed diabolically,
‘I don’t know about you, but I’m going straight to hell!’
Immediately a few of the attendees excused themselves from further involvement in the meeting. Perhaps they had ears to hear + eyes to see?
Grizzle and her friend remained. The mahatma then proceeded by outlining DLM’s 3 steps:
1^st: he instructed each of the premies-to-be to hold their eyes shut and press their fingers firmly against their eyelids, pressing them so tightly they could see nothing, no light at all, so everything in their vision was so dark that suddenly they would see the 'Divine Light', a supernatural spiritual light which would then enlighten their heart + mind. As he led them in this experience, he circulated among his followers and questioned them on their experience: the light, their enthusiasm and response to the energy they received! When he felt satisfied with their progress, he then continued to the
2^nd: now he told his audience to hold their ears shut, as they'd done with their eyes; so shut that they could hear nothing,
no sound at all, so everything in their hearing was so silent that suddenly they would hear the 'Celestial Music',
a supernatural heavenly sound that would fill them with pure spirit. He again followed this step by mingling among them, further noting their experiences. When he came to Grizzle, he was quite amazed at the sensations she described, but she didn’t tell him she was already familiar with many Hindu techniques and told him what he wanted to hear.
Then the final step:
3^rd: the revelation of the mantra. In other Hindu teachings, Grizzle said the mantra had been the generic name of God: OM, but this time, she was surprised that the DLM had merely reversed the order of the letters to: MO!
So here were these precious human souls being led astray as dumb sheep by some charismatic figure and charlatan system, obeying what they neither knew nor understood. But with these 3 steps, he assured them they now had the ‘perfect knowledge’ and would proceed to ever greater enlightenment as they pursued this path.

Grizzle ended her story: the truth came on and my light and hope went out!

My hope had been exposed as a massive sham, a religious fraud, a hoax, a deception! I saw it clearly; she didn’t have to tell me anymore. I felt like one of her uprooted brussel sprouts and there I hung in mid-air, just like them, suspended, upside down, rootless, with no ground for any more questions.
She let me dangle there for a while. I don’t know how long, but it felt like an eternity.
And then I felt something else well up inside me: disappointment, confusion, anger!
Not normal emotional anger; I was raging, furious at: this masquerade unmasked, myself for being so gullible and, because I had to take it out on somebody, Grizzle:
‘How dare she destroy my last desperate hope for truth? You knew I needed this knowledge and now you’ve debunked it for the sham it is. You heartless creature! How could you do this to me?’
Waves of frustration crashed against my ego.
Mercifully, Grizzle finally broke the awful silence of the moment, ‘Come with me. I’ve got something for you!’
and she headed towards her simple A-frame cabin a short distance away.
I didn’t have much fight left in me, so I obediently followed, not even considering what that cabin might hold.
We entered.

Her furnishings were quite bare. Another woman from the farm
was there, but without any introductions, Grizzle just pointed me to the centre of the room: a lone table with nothing on it except a Bible, closed.

‘Pick it up and read,’ she directed, calmly.
'Where should I start?' I replied, emptily.
But my real feelings absolutely churned and seethed inside me. My anger was prime to boil over and all manner of sarcastic comments were writhing and readying themselves to attack from within my embittered soul.
‘In the beginning,’ she countered.
That did it! ‘In the beginning?’ my inner voice protested. ‘I know all about ‘in the beginning.’
'I’m at the crisis-point of my life and you’re directing me to Sunday-School stories I know from way back in my past,’ I heard my own soul cry out, inaudible to both Grizzle and her friend.
I kicked and wrestled, but finally yielded.
‘Oh, why not?’ I whimpered and started to read out loud.
And I read… through the first pages of Genesis 1 + 2. I read of creation: earth, animals and Adam + Eve, convinced I knew it all from before.
Until I came to Genesis 2:9 –

‘And out of the ground the LORD God made every tree grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food.

  The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.’
2 things remarkably stood out that maybe I didn’t know?
1^st: there were 2 trees in the garden. One was the tree of life which was originally in the garden's centre; and the other?
2^nd: the tree of ‘knowledge’.
What I'd hoped would be the missing brick in my tower now hit me like a ton of bricks… right between my eyes! I can’t remember all my thought process at that point, but I suddenly became aware of something new and different here, not what I’d expected. Like that second tree, the one I was seeking, hadn't it been the source of all man's problems in the world?
Maybe, just maybe, I didn’t know everything? Maybe I needed to read on.

And so I did. I read on into Chapter 3.
I’m going to paraphrase this next part, because from my hippie perspective, this is how it spoke to me:
The serpent shows up at this point and even I knew that was the devil, the bad guy. He gets Eve off alone and says:
‘Hey Eve! Nice digs you got here! Man, this is beautiful! You must have everything you need here!’
‘Oh yes,’ she responds, ‘Everything! Isn’t life wonderful!’
The serpent slithers + twists her words from an exclamation to a question, and seizes on, ‘Everything? Isn’t there one thing you’re missing? C'mon, there must be one thing, one thing you can’t do?'
‘Well, there is one thing...’ she turns her attention from the centre tree to the other. ‘Just one thing: God says if we eat or touch that tree over there, we’ll die!’
‘Really?’ the snake drools as she takes the bait.
‘Die? What’s die? Nobody’s ever died before; what do you mean die?
  Don’t you know the real reason He doesn’t want you to eat from that tree? He knows that if you do, you’ll be just like 
  Him; you’ll be a god yourself + then you won’t need him to tell you what you can or cannot do anymore.
  I mean, c’mon Eve: look at that tree over there,’ he added as he distracted her focus from life to knowledge.
‘It looks so good. Really, can anything that looks so good be bad for you?'
And then he sealed the deal with the hippie cliché: ‘Ah, if it feels good, do it!’
I read her response: Genesis 3:6
‘So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to
   make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.’
And then I stopped.
Suddenly I had no more breath to read any further. Any attempts to read on for further knowledge were frustrated.
Visions of uprooted brussel sprouts filled my mind again.
I read this verse and I died.
It was like I somehow I saw that I’d been eating from that tree all my life and its fruit was death and its root was death and I was dead also. Another awkward eternity of silence followed.

And then something totally inexplicable began to happen. It was as if some unknown hand wielding a giant corkscrew began drilling through the soles of my feet, draining my life away. Emptiness and numbness followed and I struggled to maintain my balance. I leaned against that lonely table, which now seemed to be the only thing holding me up in this life.
I tried to speak, but no words came; both my mouth and mind were empty.
I braced myself to maintain my composure, but I really had none left.
I stood there... emptying; time seemed endless as I hung between two worlds.
With no capacity for anger left, I felt suspended in an unfamiliar realm.
Life passed in a moment, events that had taken years now transpired in a mere breath.
Finally, I gathered enough strength and excused myself. For what I didn’t know, but I made an excuse: I needed to go and tell another couple of Grizzle’s friends that I would house-sit their goat farm for the next week. So I somehow managed to gather my thoughts, thanked the women for their time and without acknowledging what was really happening inside,
I walked out unsteadily, got in my car and drove 3 miles down the road to the neighbour’s farm.
All the while my inside was draining away!

I got to the farm, but no one was home. The house was empty; so were the barns.

But I saw a pathway opposite the house heading up a hill through some trees. I knew it led to another neighbour’s farm and wondered if maybe they were visiting next door and I could find them there.
Never having gone that way before, I thought, ‘Why not?’ so I started uphill through the forest.
My life was still draining and it was cooler in the shade.
I remember thinking, ‘When will this stop? This is weirder than any drug I’ve ever experienced before! What is happening to me?’
And so my life continued draining away until…

I had come to the edge of the woods. It opened up to a meadow, a good-sized hayfield and exactly when I stepped out of the shadows and into the open, the emptying gave way to a wave of sunlight and power like I’d never known.

It hit me like a tsunami, rushed through me from head to toe, then reversed itself from my toes and exploded through me in a crescendo of life! Like someone set off a whole fireworks display at one moment in me!
Whoossh!
And this bolt of electricity now running through me also picked me up and propelled me out into the field. The hayfield became my dance floor and I was running, jumping, doing somersaults and cartwheels like a kid, shouting at the top of my voice, singing and babbling with funny, incomprehensible words spilling out of my mouth!
No one had told me about tongues, but I guess that’s what it was: unknown tongues were overflowing like rivers of living water from within me! What had been dry + empty only moments before was now full + more!
If anyone had seen me rolling around out there, I’m sure they would have thought I'd finally lost it: too much acid or one too many tokes. I even tried to stop and pinch myself to come back to reality, but life prevailed over reason, and I dismissed that action. This joy was better than anything I’d ever experienced, so why stop and go back to the misery I’d had before?
However, after another eternity… somehow I was experiencing timelessness in one day from both sides of the equation,
I finally got it together enough to walk back down to my friends’ farm. They still weren’t home, but it dawned on me where they were: it was a holiday and the hippie community in the valley was opening a new community centre at Vallican and so there was a big party going on and that’s where most everyone would be!

So I got in my car and drove off: 30 miles over the next 45 minutes and all the while I drove, the flood waters from inside kept rising and spilling over the banks of my soul. But these songs were not earthly; the language was heavenly and I was revelling in the overflow! I was so full I felt I was absolutely bursting! 45 minutes of something singing unknown words through me! Something was happening in me, but I really didn’t have a clue?

Until I got to Vallican and saw the friends I was looking for.
But I saw another person first, and that was my friend, Bob. He should have been 30 miles away and me 30 miles even further in the opposite direction. But there he was: the one with whom I'd shared so much of my personal journey for truth thus far; through school, drugs, booze, backpacking and whatever, and now he was somehow there in front of me and I heard a voice inside me say, ‘Go tell him what’s happened!’
I protested, ‘But I don’t know what’s happened and I have no idea what to tell him!’
But simple obedience won out and in a moment I found myself standing before him. Without any premeditation, both my arms went up in the air spontaneously and words gushed out, ‘Bob, Bob!

‘I’ve given up the pursuit of knowledge and I’ve found the love of our Lord Jesus Christ!’

He looked at amazed! In all my previous wildest assertions, I’d never come up with something like this before.

He heard my words and said, ‘What?’

But I heard my words and said, ‘That’s it!’

And just like that I sat him down in the field, right in the midst of 3 loud hippie bands playing, and preached Christ to him.

I really had no idea what I was saying; but something had bypassed my mind and words flowed from my heart like a torrent, a river that could not and would not be stopped.

We had both been made for this moment and truth prevailed.

I talked for what must have been a whole hour. I think he had questions in between, but nothing could stop the flow of what I now knew to be God’s Word + Spirit in me. I had both wings + I was flying and nothing could hold back the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Somehow I knew now that truth was not a thesis, doctrine, or intellectual explanation of reality.

Truth is a Person, the very relationship and life-giving intimacy between Jesus Christ and our Father God which He wants us to partake in His New Covenant together. This Truth was happening and this Truth became real to me at that moment.

Bob didn’t get saved that day. But he really didn’t have a chance; within a couple years, he too gave his heart to Jesus and is now a missionary in Guatemala.

I didn’t want to go to sleep that night. What if I woke up the next morning and this experience proved to just be another feeling and was gone?

But I did get to sleep and when I woke up, the same joy was there, has always been there and always will be.

God doesn’t change. That was 39 years ago and Jesus’ Truth shines brighter each and every new day!

 

Variations on a Hezekiah Theme

When God speaks the same word or touches on the same incident-issue more than once in the Bible, it doesn't mean He forgot what He'd previously said. Rather, His restatement highlights that subject's importance and our need to especially 'have ears to hear what the Lord is saying'. Let me explain. 4 different gospels proclaim the Good News of Jesus because this news is so vital. No single witness alone can fully communicate God's greatest gift. So we have 4 Evangelists' perspectives all focused on 1 Person and 1 Message to give us the complete picture of Jesus. Same message; just different perspectives. In a similar way, The Book of Acts records Saul's Damascus Road conversion 3 times; not because Luke didn't get it right the first time. But, in accordance with God's own requirement that truth must be established 'in the mouth of two or three witnesses' (Deut 17:6; 19:15), Luke gives 3 different perspectives to confirm and assure that this vital story makes its full, significant impact! The Bible also recounts the history of King Hezekiah of Judah in 3 parallel passages: 2Kings; 2Chronicles + Isaiah. Through previous readings, I've become aware of how all 3 basically agree on the facts of his life, reign and ministry; but each also differs somewhat in its own unique perspective. One includes what the others omit; one gives the general overview, the other provides specific details or presents them differently. Together, they give a full, non-contradictory picture of the truth. Kings records his kingdom's civic historical facts, even including their effect beyond Judah, on all Israel; Chronicles focuses exclusively on Judah and the priesthood's influence; Isaiah perceives the spiritual heart of the matter from a more prophetic angle. However, while re-reading them recently, I felt a remarkably personal kinship with Hezekiah while under spiritual attack. Not that my tribulations at all rival his in either intensity or significance; but trials are all pilgrims' common denominator, the great equalizers of all lives. Tests and temptations happen alike to peasants and kings. No one is immune. The Preacher says, 'The same thing - death - ultimately happens to us all!' So what did I see through the lens of my fellow traveler, Hezekiah? His trials are not only distant past reminders, but very much relevant to our contemporary situations. The 1st passage - 2Kings 18:13-20:21 basically outlines Hezekiah's desire to restore Judah to right standing in worshiping God. The very first verses call him a good king, one of Judah's best in fact: 'he did what was right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his father David had done.' (2Ki 18:3) He was a reformer: restored the covenant; repaired the Temple, both its building and priestly services; celebrated a joy-filled Passover as had not been since Solomon; and instituted far-reaching civil reforms. His arch-rival, Samaria, had been carried away captive by Assyria and Judah dwelt in peace. Life was good for Hezekiah. Contemporary commentators might say he enjoyed 'good karma' (not a Christian perspective): he had sown well so he would reap well. However, something changed. His enemy's enemy became his enemy and suddenly Assyria attacked Judah's cities, besieging even Jerusalem, bellowing threats against Hezekiah and his people. 'I'll bring you down just like all the other nations! You're no different; I've defeated them all! You say you trust the LORD? Well, I've got news for you: He's the One who's sent me against you. He's really not pleased with you. In fact, Hezekiah has deceived you and is really working against the true LORD. I know; that's why I'm here!' And as if these Goliath-like taunts weren't enough, 2Ki 20 tells us Hezekiah became very sick, right at the same time that his kingdom was under attack by the Assyrian army. So seriously sick, he calls for his trusted prophet, Isaiah, to give hope in the midst of this most desperate situation. I paraphrase Hezekiah's plea: 'LORD, what do you say about this? I need some light in this very present darkness!' But the prophet's words were not helpful. They provided neither relief nor comfort, but only made what was already distressing to be downright depressing! Instead of healing and hope, Hezekiah heard, 'Set your house in order, for you shall die and not live!' (2Ki20:2) Insult was now added to injury. It appeared God was abandoning his king in his most dire moment of need. So... Hezekiah turned his face toward the wall... away from Isaiah, the bearer of bad news to... what??? ... his problem?... his disappointment?... his insurmountable mountain?... a distraction?... his God?... himself? I don't know what his 'wall' was, but literally, Hezekiah was unable to face the truth, the prophet or his God and he turned away in his pain. Somehow he did find the faith to pray, to pour out his heart, if only to complain, recount all his past faithful deeds: 'Remember how I've walked before you... in truth... with a loyal heart,' and weep bitterly. Hezekiah was clearly finding it difficult to accept the Lord's revealed will for his life. Or was it really God's will? Perhaps this was just another part of the whole test? Regardless, even before Isaiah had made his way out of the palace through the middle court after delivering his discouraging word, the LORD spoke another word, Isaiah turned around and proclaimed what sounds like the exact opposite to his original prophecy! Had Isaiah's complaint moved God? Had the LORD changed His mind? 'I've heard your prayer, seen your tears, will heal you completely in 3 days, add 15 more years to your life and, (as if that's not enough), I'll rid you of the Assyrians too!' Who wouldn't want to receive a prophetic word like that? Everyone say, 'Amen!' So Isaiah put a lump of figs on the festering boil and Hezekiah miraculously recovered! That's all that was needed? That's all that stood between Hezekiah, God's faithful servant, and death: a bunch of figs?! So simple a solution! And then the LORD added, 'And would you like a sign to further show that my Word is true? Should I make the sundial shadow go ahead or back 10 degrees?' That is, God can change the times of the entire universe, either increase or reverse the speed of light, just as easily as heal bodies and win battles! So Hezekiah chose what he thought most impossible: reverse the shadows! Need anymore convincing? The LORD threw in an angel to slay 185,000 Assyrian soldiers in 1 night, sent their king Sennacherib fleeing back to Assyria where his own two sons murdered him. Assyria never recovered! Then nations, including an upstart Babylon, saw the miraculous signs in the heavens (a part of the day's light lost forever would be quite a sign to these astrologers!?) heard of Hezekiah's great victory, and sent their envoys to discover what was happening. Hezekiah, elated with his personal healing and national deliverance, abandoned wisdom and discernment, and opened up all his treasures to these curious strangers. Isaiah asked him, 'Have you shown them ALL that is in your house?' Hezekiah confirmed he had and Isaiah then prophesied again. This unlikely Babylon would one day accomplish what the Assyrians had failed to do: utterly destory his city, Jerusalem, and take his children captive. And what was Hezekiah's response? 'That's a good word... for at least it won't happen to me. There will be peace in my days!' Great story, but there's something wrong with this ending. Not the ringing, uplifting, feel-good conclusion we expect from this 'good' king's reign!? So let's look deeper... to the Bible's second passage on this story: 2Chronicles 29 -32. Same basic outline, but these chapters add a dimension 2Kings never really discovers. Concerning the aftermath of Hezekiah's healing and victory, this chronicler focuses on Hezekiah's heart condition: 32:23 sounds the warning: Hezekiah was exalted in the sight of all nations. Question is: How well do we handle exaltation? Seems Hezekiah didn't do too well with this part of the test. Likewise, history reveals the church does better in times of persecution than exaltation. Why is that? Light shines best in darkness? Do we so easily forget the great victories the LORD has won for us and all too quickly settle for the world's fanfare, the applause of American Idol? 32:25 continues: 'Hezekiah did not repay according to the favor shown him'. Favour shown from God calls for reciprocal favour from us towards Him. His heart was lifted up - with such a momentous, miraculous breakthrough, Hezekiah found it harder to process victory than challenge defeat? Why is that? 'Then Hezekiah humbled himself for the pride of his heart so the wrath did not come upon them in his days.' 32:31 the LORD sums it up: 'regarding this situation... God withdrew from him, in order to test him, that He might know all that was in his heart.' So what was in Hezekiah's heart, this great reformer king? Same as in that Israel generation that had miraculously destroyed Egypt, walked through the Red Sea on dry ground and followed the pillar of cloud and fire in the wilderness, but didn't regard that these great miracles were inherently 'to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart.'(Deut 8:2) Turns out: what was in his hearts was not good enough! But what is in our heart? Jeremiah (Jer 17:9-10) exposes it as inherently evil, deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, full of: Rebellion and unbelief - not enough faith to enter into His land of promise. Pride - caught up with its own works, unable to give God the glory and stop elation from becoming exaltation. Materialsm/Greed - when the Babylonians + all nations showed up, Hezekiah showed them all his things, his earthly prosperity and he failed to tell them the real heart of the great sign: why the sun and Assyrians were retreating: God's powerful love! Self - he was more thankful that God's wrath would be deferred to following generations than he was willing to deal with it personally and see its root cause eradicated in his own heart and generation. It is God's prerogative to test our heart: heal it from yesterday's hurts, purify it through today's presents, and transform us to His next glory! The enemy tempts, but God tests. The enemy wants to trip us up and ensnare us, but God wants us to enter in! Jesus went through a forty-day wilderness test at His ministry's beginning and overcame the enemy's temptations with God's Word + Spirit. Even in His final hour, no man could find any fault in Him. The enemy tempted, but Jesus completed His test with a triumphant, 'It is finished!' His Heart was to only know the Father's Heart and make Him known. Nothing deterred Jesus from this way. Want to go even deeper? Look at the third passage: Isaiah's more personal, intimate perspective. The prophet records Hezekiah's song in the midst of his trial, when he's most vulnerable, most transparent. Our song is not just words - thoughts and ideas, but it's our heart set to music, so we can hear ourselves clearly, the fuller sound of who we really are. Lyrics + melody. Word + Spirit. Isa 38:9-20 traces Hezekiah's process, his journey of faith through the test. The 1st part: v10-14 records a sad, bitter, despairing, depressing lament descrying his miserable condition before He is healed: 'O LORD, It's not fair that I am going to die before my time! I am upset/angry/oppressed! Do something! Can you relate? I can! The 2nd part is his response, quite evidently after he's been healed. His difference in tone is remarkable: Hezekiah has been changed! and more than just physically! 'It seems it was good for me to go through all those troubles. Throughout them all you held tight to my lifeline, You never let me tumble over the edge into nothing. But my sins you let go of... It's the living who thank you, just as I'm doing right now. The father shall make known Your truth to the children.' And that's the heart of the matter: trials/tests produce seed that reproduce good fruit to successive generations! Unfortunately, Hezekiah forgot this essential lesson during his 15 extra years. His son, Manasseh, was born during this time (he was 12 yrs old when Hezekiah finally did die!); but somehow Hezekiah failed to effectively convey his Father God's love + faith to his own son: Manasseh proved to be one of the most wicked kings in all of Judah's history! He did such evil that he undid all the good his father had done! Tradition reports he even had his cousin Isaiah sawn in two! Guess he didn't appreciate his prophecies?! So what song are you singing NOW during your wilderness test, in the midst of your fiery furnace, or your desert tribulation? A lament? a complaint? a dirge? or a praise-filled, victorious anthem? And how's your singing AFTER your deliverance? Is it different from when you're still 'going through it'? Has it become a rehearsed God-story from your past: the same words, but lacking spontaneous passion and vision beyond yourself, without the perspective of application to future generations? Hezekiah had the words, but he stopped living his song to his son. Our song is the Tree of Life which reaches over walls, bears fruit in every season, shines through our tests and reveals Christ's life throughout successive generations. This is the heart of the father making his truth known to his children; the exercise of faith and love that Hezekiah needed then and fathers like me still need to learn today.

You can only keep what you've given away

You can only keep what you give away. Strange-sounding paradox, eh? But that's the essence of life! Our struggles to maintain what we think we possess or figure out ways through our problems often bring only fleeting, temporary, circuitous solutions. Truth seems ever-evasive, tantalyzingly outside our grasp, just like the proverbial carrot on the stick; we're ever reaching, but never able... But our futile predicaments are simply our wake-up calls to change our perspective! Life is not out of reach... removed. It is nearer than we think. Definitely within the grasp of faith. 'We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive at the place we first started And to know that place for the first time.' (Little Gidding - TS Eliot - HS paraphrase) T.S. Eliot perceived that life's seemingly meaningless circuit really does have purpose. Our circle does have a centre after all and all life proceeds from that centre. We are not a disconnected series of random explorings on an uncertain circumference. And all honest attempts to seek life's mystery will ultimately bring us to this revelation: Life is a lot simpler than we think and that Centre and His Name is Jesus! I'm convinced: resolution does not come from frantically trying to unravel our complicated Gordian knots; rather it flows from the revelation of Jesus Christ, God's Word + His Spirit. His Sword first pierces our heart and then it is free to cut through the entangling maze around and ahead of us. Veiled riddles can lead to open portals. Complex confusions yield simple solutions. In Jesus Christ, mystery becomes Revelation! Look again at our opening sentence. It parallels Jesus' words in Matt 16:24: 'For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.' Is Jesus just talking in circles, seeking to impress us with how deep His thoughts are? I think not. Rather, His simplicity challenges our complexity. His heavenly wisdom confronts our earthly delusion. He who is The Way, Truth and Life calls us to forsake confusion and follow Him, even through accompanying tests and trials, to discover life to its fullest. Quite simply... your life is NOT about you. You, yourself, your 'I' is neither life's beginning, central focus nor goal. 'You' are an outward expression of God's innermost love. And the sooner 'I' come to the end of 'my'self and cease from introspective navel-gazing, then the sooner 'I' will be free from the non-stop merry-go-round treadmill impossibility of realizing 'self'. Self-centred self-awareness; self-help + self-improvement, self-acceptance, self-sufficiency + self-esteem -- they all lead to only more emptiness! 'Vanity of vanities,' saith Ecclesiastes, 'All is vanity!' This is the pivotal question in our present-day culture wars. Consumer-centred societies that strive to get and keep are empty, dying cultures and eventually consume themselves. Jesus reiterated this same truth 1000 years later with His added Revelation: THE WAY, TRUTH + LIFE has now appeared in earth and taken up His rightful throne at our universe's centre, its very heart. Receiving Christ means 'self' relinquishes its throne to a new centre. All 'self' focuses are mere detours, deceptions and lies! Life is not a self-centred lie. To die to self is to find your new Identity in Christ and live for Him! Love gives. The Father gave His Son. Jesus gave His life. He is the only answer and He is His way to His followers, a new and living way: You can only keep what you give away. It's like breathing: you take in and then you have to give out to keep on living! Stop breathing out and you die! Give and you live! Let me illustrate this further for a picture is worth 1000 words. I know a lady in our city who grows dahlias. By summer's end, her garden is a living tapestry of colour! A wonderful rainbow of diverse reds, oranges, yellows and polka-dot purples, with white and gold highlights! Many of her varieties are totally unique to her garden because over the years she used the bulbs she already had to generate new, original and even more vibrant creations. Her garden is like none other... and she shares it with her whole community. She didn't attend our church, but many Sunday mornings I'd arrive to find one of her colouful arrangements at our church doorstep. No mystery; I knew exactly who had left them. She just wanted to bless us and she did. Her dahlias also greeted me when I entered the local bank -- banks definitely need blessing that money cannot give! Her displays of God's true wealth and exuberant prodigality added life to the otherwise austere, sterile money-changers' tables. And if you took time to look even more closely... you could read, secreted amid their petals, her hand-written Bible verses proclaiming simple gospel truths. Her flowers invited thirsty souls to stop and drink life's true honey. But one day disaster struck! Every autumn she brought her bulbs in from the garden, carefully wrapped them up + packed them away to protect them from the winter cold. But this one winter was especially harsh and all her bulbs froze. Frozen dahlia bulbs do not bloom again. The soggy mess was only good for the compost pile. None of her prize dahlias survived. But this Dorcas lived a timeless secret. For years she had selflessly sown seeds unwittingly for her own salvation that would now germinate in her springtime of need. Out of her generous spirit, during her years of plenty, she had freely given her prize bulbs away to friends, neighbours, any dahlia-lovers. All who had shown an interest received some so they could then grow and enjoy their own dahlias in their own yards. And now, when these friends heard of her loss, they in turn rallied and one-by-one restored her garden with a whole new generation of bulbs -- a re-generation heralding her garden's resurrection! Virtually every variety she had once cultivated, but then lost, was ultimately restored and her garden bloomed again... replenished! Because she had given them away, they came back to her. She had 'lost' her flowers to others, but when all seemed lost, then what she had given restored her to plenty. She was kept because she had given away. Something parallel is now happening in the Church here in the West. Her present state resembles my friend's frozen dahlias: desolate, desperate, decayed. Not only is the bloom off her vine, but her bulbs are rotten. She is lost in her own way, void of simple gospel truth, lacking Christ's essential life and without a vision beyond herself. Yet I see hope! Jesus Christ is her true and only Root and neither He nor His gospel will be corrupted! Nothing done in Christ is in vain. For centuries, the Western church gave her best shoots and sowed her quality seed into the world's needy. Countless thousands, many in the prime of their youth, not only bloomed brightly in their generation, but branched over the walls to transform desolate wildernesses and affect many generations. The blood of the martyrs is still good seed, like the 'dahlia bulbs' my friend gave away. Now Africa, Asia, South America are returning the gospel afresh to a spiritually-impoverished West. They come bearing precious seed, priceless bulbs, completing the circle. Ecclesiastes 11:1 encourages us to 'Cast our bread on the waters and we will find it after many days.' Isaiah and Habbakuk prophesy, 'the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.' (Isa 11:9, Hab 2:14) Jesus sent His disciples to the ends of the earth to 'make disciples of ALL nations'. That still includes the West. God will not settle for a remnant when He has sown a harvest. Now seed is returning to us from these nations that previously received it from our once over-flowing store. Those who formerly received from us are now His messengers to us. Our offering to them has become what they now offer us. May we humbly receive the Gospel seed again and complete the kingdom cycle. God's wisdom is evident: we keep + are only kept by what we've given away!